Chris welcomes the viewer, when Telly rushes to him in a nervous fit. He tells Chris that Humpty Dumpty is sitting on the wall and he's sure that he'll fall and break. They go to the arbor and confront him.

 Humpty assures Telly he's not performing his nursery rhyme today and is instead watching the annual football game between All the King's Horses and All the King's Men. Telly hops onto the wall to join him, while Chris returns to work (and to fetch some buffalo wings for Humpty).

Humpty's egg timer goes off, which means the game's set to begin. The teams arrive on the field, when the horses point out they're down one player. The third horse, Nigel, arrives and is unable to play.

They're about to call off the game, but Humpty declares he'll take Nigel's place. Telly is afraid Humpty will break, but he's sure he won't, as he has his helmet and pads. The game commences and the horse throws the ball back to Humpty.

The impact knocks him over and he shatters. Despite the setback, Humpty says he'll resume playing once he's fixed ("An egg never gives up on his dream.").

Telly tries to think of how he can keep Humpty safe and thinks a cushion will protect him better. Humpty returns good-as-new and resumes playing. The cushion prevents the ball from knocking him down, but when charging toward the opposing team, he falls over and is cracked again.

Telly sees his cushion idea did not work and thinks he needs something bouncier. He spots the sponge in Chris' pocket and observes the bouncy material. Telly raids Hooper's stock of sponges and covers Humpty with them.

When the game resumes, Humpty makes it to where he last was and is able to bounce from the ground when knocked over, but is smashed when the team tackles him. Chris explains to him that eggs are fragile and they go to Hooper's.