Dedicated to the endangered chimpanzee I saw at the zoo named Jaden.

    Dear Diary,

    The therapist lady told me to start writing down how I feel, or how my day goes. She says it will help my bipolar disorder but I don’t know what it actually helps with.

UGHHHH

    Howled Analiese with tears in her eyes. She grabbed her pencil and diary, then began to write.

    I hate this. I hate that she’s making me go back. I hate her. I hate myself the most. I hate how it makes me way more upset than it should. I’m tired of being so upset but I can’t help it. I wish I could control it, but I really can’t. Tomorrow is the first day of school. I’m NOT excited for it, I’m actually kind of scared.  

    Today I went to school. It was scary and I started panicking. There’s a girl in my class, her name is something like Yvette. She’s nice. I want to be her friend but what if she gets freaked out when I get mood swings. Everyone I’ve ever tried to be friends with didn’t understand.    

It’s been a week. Yvette and I are friends now. She’s the best! Today she asked if I wanted to go on a playdate. I’ve never been on a playdate before. I asked my mom and she said yes. I’m really excited. I have so much energy right now. Mom said I’m bouncing off the walls.  I need to sleep though. So I'll go to bed.

You are bouncing of the walls girl!

Hi Analiese, Yvette told me a lot about you!

    she had a friend who was also bipolar. I didn’t know what to say, she went on about how if i ever get upset about it I shouldn’t blame myself. I just kept on nodding. It made me uncomfortable to talk about. Yvette interrupted her and dragged me upstairs. 

Sorry, I ruined this playdate.

Sorry about her. She can’t really read the room well.

     kept on nodding. I felt so down, but she stayed with me. She sat there and hugged me, the silence filled the air. I felt so devastated. But it was better having her there. She didn’t say a word, I’m glad she didn’t otherwise I would have been upset at her too. 

Haha!

    It’s been a month now since that incident. Yvette and I are even closer now. She’s the best friend I could’ve asked for. She’s really important to me now. I even miss her sometimes when I go home. My mom said she’s proud of me for making a good friend.