“Rebecca, just because you have some dumb party with your friends doesn’t mean I have to miss my meeting to watch our daughter at her presidential nomination!”

“Jeff, it's not just any hang out, it's a girls night. All I ask is ONE NIGHT where you can forget about your stupid job!”

“Well-“

Yup. That’s what it's like everyday at my house. Fighting, screaming, yelling, smashing, slamming, hitting, throwing. It’s still terrifying even after two full years of it. But this one was worse. This one was much worse. This one was gonna be the death of me. And the worse part? The worst part was that there was not one single thing I could do to stop it. Mom had thrown her drink at Dad, ruining his suit, and Mom’s earrings were missing. And it was all because of me.

Now, when you’re standing at the top of the stairs watching in horror as your parents are fighting like the kids at school, it’s really hard to not scream. To hold it in so it’s not you next. But I have it mastered. I have the same routine: After watching to make sure I don’t have to call the ambulance, I run back to my room and make friendship bracelets. I fold my laundry, I dance, I call Jessica, whatever I can do to stay moving. I do all this while listening to my Fishes In A Tree playlist on Spotify. I work on my presidential campaign project (I know it’s not ‘till second semester, but I have to win or my parents might send the other to the ER. And then I shower. 30 nice, warm minutes in the shower, with the music so loud I can’t hear anything or anyone. And I can melt away in my tears, and no one would hear if I disappeared.

“Jessica! Get over here!” I yelled

Jessica ran over in an anxious way. What’s her problem? “Hi Shay! Um… what are we gonna do this weekend?”

“Jessica! You sound like Gretchen Wieners! Stop it!”

“Sorry.” She mumbled

I sighed. I felt bad. I knew how I sounded, but I just couldn't let her see the bad part if me, because she would probably leave me. I mean, it’s not like. I’m a very good friend to start with. Me having issues or feelings would make her hate me even more. And I wouldn’t be tough or scary or anything. She would know that she could leave me and I would break, not break her. 

“Shay, look!” Said Jessica.

I looked. There he was. My cousin. Beating up Alberto with his best friend, Jimmy Loktin. I wanted so badly to go over and tell him to let go of the nerd, but what power do I have!? 

He’s 6’1 and 14, not to mention, I can tell you from first hand experience that he can send you to the pediatrician in one punch to the face. I quick dropped my backpack on the ground as Alberto returned with a bloody rag clutched to his nose. My foot moved as if to see if he was okay, but I realized what I was doing and stopped.

“Jessica, dollar.” I pulled a friendship bracelet out of my backpack. This one was pink and orange and said “Shay” on it.

Jessica gulped. “Um… Shay, I didn’t bring any extra money today…” She paused and took a step back. “I’m REALLY sorry…”

God! Why does she sound so scared! Does she think I'm gonna hurt her or something? What a freakin’ idiot! I can’t believe she forgot to bring money! Or maybe she's just poor! Probably cuz of those dumb clothes she wears!

Ugh! Jessica’s the worst! I just want to tell her that-

 “You can take your plastic apology and shove it down your fat mouth! Or maybe you can just take it back to your dump of a home and complain to mommy! I bet she’s the reason for your loser clothes!” Uh Oh.

Next thing I knew I was sitting in the big Yellow chair in the principal’s office right across from Jessica. I wanted so badly to tell her how sorry I am, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I was this close to crying, but I had to remember what she had done. I made friendship bracelets every night. They were my comfort tool. I used them to forget about the aching feeling in me that my parents hated each other. How they made ME feel every time they fought. How they made me want to curl up inside and never come out. Was that how I had made Jessica feel? I looked over at her. Nope. She was twirling the ends of her hair like an idiot.

”Shay.” Said the principal “Why would you yell such horrible things to your classmate? That is unacceptable, you know that, right?” I looked down “From what I understand you two are friends, correct?” 

Jessica nodded “Besties”

”Yes, um, besties, Shay, do you mind telling me why you did this?” I said nothing.

”Jessica, please leave. I will call you back later for your take on the situation.”

Jessica gulped and stood up. She smoothed her jean skirt and walked out. 

“Shay, is everything alright at home? I understand that it can be hard if-“

”I’m fine, okay! Just leave me alone!”

He sighed. “Shay-“

“Look, I’m sorry for what I said. She forgot to bring money to buy a friendship bracelet from me. I worked really really really really REALLY

”Okay, yup. I got it, Continue?.”

I took a breath. ”Really hard on those bracelets and she threw that away by not bringing any money. I’m sorry.” I got up and walked towards the door. 

“I just want you to know that if you ever want to talk, I’m more than just a mean principal in charge of getting people in trouble. I’m a person with feelings. Just like you.” I turned the knob on the door and walked out.

“Albert, when are you going to teach those boys a lesson?” Said that girl Keisha to Alberto- wait no- Albert.

”It’s nothing…” He said. Okay, now I really feel bad. My stupid cousin. STUPID STUPID STUPID! Shh. Calm down. It’s okay. 

“Hey Shay! Look, Ally’s here.” Jessica looked at me hopefully.

”Yeah.” I looked over at Ally. “Well, Ally, I see you have a book. Is that a picture book or…”

”Stop it Shay.” Said Keisha

”Wait no. Keisha, If Ally wants to talk, I’m sure she can. All by herself like a big girl. Right Ally? Are you a big girl?” The good old baby voice. She has nothing to say, and even if she did, she would just be embarrassing herself.

”Shay.” That was all Ally said. I was so confused. Then she sat down. 

“Okay, Fantasicos!” It was Mr. Daniels. I sat down. I liked it when he called us that.

 It made me feel like I really was fantastic. And there was nothing wrong with me. It was a nice feeling. I slumped back it my chair and relaxed. That is, until I heard him say this: “Settle down everybody. As you may know, we elect a class president once a year. That person will put together a campaign, and after a while, we will have a voting day. This year, we are doing things a little earlier due to certain circumstances.” He glanced at Ally. Huh.  “Well, do we have any nominations?” My hand shot straight up in the air. I had been preparing for this day since the beginning of the year.

”I nominate myself.” I said. 

“Alright, thank you Shay. Anybody else”

Nothing.

Silence.

Nobody.

Does this mean I win?

"Okay. It seems we only have one volunteer, so we will do a drawing from a hat unless we get another nominee.” He glanced at Ally again. I smirked

"Mr. Daniels, I nominate Ally.”

Her face looked green. I did feel bad, but I needed to win, and I mean, she can’t read or write, so I knew I would win! Mom, Dad, be ready to be proud.

”Ally, will you do it?”

No response.

Come on, say yes Ally! Hurry!!

”Umm… I-I guess I- Yes. I will do it.” Yes!! She said yes!!

Mr. Daniel's lip was twitching. He wanted to smile. I could tell he did. “Okay, excellent! Ally versus Shay!”

I looked at Jessica “I’m gonna win! She can’t even write her campaign speech, so she doesn’t stand a chance!” Jessica looked sad, but then laughed. Huh.

Keisha and Albert gave us a death stare. They knew why we were happy, but Ally was too dumb to understand. This was gonna be great!

“Mom! I’m home!” I yelled when I walked through the back door.

”Oh hi, honey!” She said. “I’m in the family room doing yoga! Come on in!”

I ran over. “Hi, Mom!” She was in a downward dog pose.

”Hey honeybunch. How was today? Were you perfect? I’m sure you were.” My mom has a bad habit of answering questions she asks.

”Yup. I was per-Yeah. It was a good day. I’m running for class president. Nominations were today.”

”Good job sweetie! Jeff will come see you in the speech. Wish I could go but it’s my day to hang with the girls!” She switched to a Tree position

”Yeah, I heard. Um, I think I’m gonna go to my room.” I blinked back tears.