With a heart full of gratitude, I bow to my 

omnipresent Saibaba, whose divine presence, blessings,  and quiet guidance have helped me  bring this book to life.

Preface 

"Every heart whispers a story, inked in the vibrant hues of emotion. Life, a boundless book, unfolds page by page, revealing chapters of soaring joy—the laughter of a child's first steps—crushing sorrow—the silent ache of farewell—and the indelible mark of love, a warm hand held in the cold. Characters drift in and out, each leaving an imprint, a lesson, a memory. We are shaped by laughter and tears, by moments that test—a sudden storm that forces us to seek shelter—and moments that etch themselves into our souls—the quiet peace of a sunset. The magic? No one knows the final chapter until it's written. 

This, then, is the story of emotions—the unseen architect of our lives, a journey of endless possibilities.

Looking back, I realize that emotions are not mere reactions to life, but rather the very essence of it. They paint the canvas of our experiences, guiding our choices and shaping our destinies. To understand them—to recognize the fluttering of hope or the weight of despair—is to understand ourselves, and to navigate them wisely—to find strength in vulnerability—is to truly live."

Chapter 1-

Tapestry of Happiness

 Happiness means different things to different people. For some, it is found in achievements and milestones, while for others, it is hidden in the small, everyday moments that make life meaningful. It could be the warmth of family, the thrill of an accomplishment, or the simple pleasure of indulging in childhood memories.

For me, happiness has always been woven into the small, little things. Making paper boats on a rainy day in Mumbai, eating late-night ice cream on a cold winter night — moments like these left memories etched in sweetness and a deep sense of belonging. Walking barefoot on the beach while watching the sunrise, celebrating festivals with my family, affectionate sibling fights that blossomed into lifelong bonds, and laughing endlessly during college days while creating unforgettable memories with friends — these are the threads that have stitched happiness into the fabric of my life.

I have been blessed with friendships that stood the test of time, an amazing life partner, a fulfilling career, and unforgettable milestones—my first job, my first salary hike, the thrill of buying our first home and car, and above all, the love and support of my family.

But among all these beautiful moments, one stands out above the rest—the day I became a mother.

On the 9th of July 2005, my world changed in the most profound way. I still remember the moment I heard his first cry— —the sound of life, love, and an unbreakable bond. His tiny hands, soft pink face, and delicate fingers filled me with an indescribable sense of wonder. I was overwhelmed by emotions—a tidal wave of love, gratitude, and awe. He was a part of me, yet he was his own person, embarking on his journey in this world.

The moment I held him in my arms, a surge of emotions rushed through me. All my pain vanished as I gazed at him in disbelief, unable to take my eyes off this tiny miracle before exhaustion took over, and I fainted. That was the moment I truly understood the depth of a mother’s love—a love so pure and boundless that it transcends everything else.

Motherhood brought sleepless nights, endless worries, and a rollercoaster of emotions. Yet, amid the exhaustion, I found joy in the smallest of moments—the way his tiny fingers curled around mine, the way he nestled against me seeking comfort, the first time he smiled in recognition.

 Each milestone, whether big or small, became a cause for celebration—his first smile, his first laugh, his first words, and those wobbly first steps that made my heart swell with pride.

As he grew, every day became an adventure. I laughed with him, cried with him, and shared every moment of his journey. His first day at school was a mix of excitement and apprehension. I remember standing at the school gate, watching him walk in with his tiny backpack, feeling both pride and an ache in my heart. His little victories became my greatest achievements, and his struggles became my own. 

Even on his vaccination days, when his tiny tears broke my heart, I held him close, whispering reassurances, knowing that this pain was momentary and necessary for his well-being. Today, watching him grow into a fine young man pursuing MBBS, soon to be a doctor, my heart swells with immense happiness and pride.

Today, as I look back, I feel an immense sense of gratitude. My life has been filled with countless moments of happiness, but nothing compares to the happiness and joy of being a mother. It is a journey of unconditional love, self-discovery, and a lifetime of cherished memories. 

And as my son continues to grow, I realize that happiness is not something we chase—it is something we live, in the smallest, most beautiful moments of life.

Through the years, I realized that happiness is not confined to grand moments; it exists in the quiet, unspoken connections, in the everyday chaos, in the love we give and receive. It is in the messy, beautiful journey of life—found in the laughter of a child, the embrace of a loved one, the pride of watching someone you love grow and flourish.

It’s Question Time 

“What if true happiness was never in what we pursue, but in what we pause to feel—are you really noticing the joy woven into your everyday moments?”

Take a quiet moment today to write down three simple things that brought a smile to your face.
Not milestones—just moments.
A kind word, a warm meal, a shared laugh.
Let your heart notice them… and feel the happiness that’s already there.

Chapter 2 -

         The Shadow of Grief

Well, what comes after happiness and joy , you are right it's Grief. That's the cycle of life, one moment you are happy and the next moment you are sad. They are like two sides of the coin, a truth I now know.

Grief is an emotional reaction to loss. Most commonly, grief is connected to death and dying, but it's also related to any loss we experience in life: work, money, relationships, the fading of a cherished dream, the loss of a beloved pet, the end of a friendship, or anything else we hold dear.

Until we experience any loss we don't understand it. "It's so easy to offer condolences to someone else, reciting the familiar platitudes: 'It's ok,' 'Death is inevitable,' 'They've gone to a better place,' 'They'll always be        with you,' 'Time will heal you.'’ but when it is your turn to hear the same    words , what do you feel ? 

Emptiness, remorse or anger ?  well, I don't know, but let me tell you            what I felt when for three consecutive years I lost my loved ones.

     September 2019 just a day after her birthday my Maasi passed away, I rushed to her place along with my husband. I just couldn't accept the reality even after seeing her in the icebox - Her skin , so cold and her face still, with a beautiful red bindi.

 Everyone was crying but I had no emotions, it was impossible to believe

She was one of  my pillars of strength when I had no one at the time of my wedding. She was the only other person after my Appa who believed that I will have a successful marriage, she was there at every stage when I needed her just a phone call away. I thought how can she just leave us like that? I had just spent 2 days with her in July .

  I never accepted her death. I experienced a constant ache in my heart.

  Then, within a year, on 8th August 2020, I received another big blow,                      a phone call which just shook my existence, my Appa passed away.                        No, this couldn't be happening. Not again. It had to be a dream..."                            that's what I kept telling myself until I reached my parents                                       house, looking at the lifeless body of my Appa .

 I wished that he was asleep and would soon wake up , but nothing as such happened, I lost my second major pillar of strength. I went into  guilt, denial followed by depression, no amount of condolences could console me, I stopped talking to people around me.

I felt like mera ab koi wajood nahin raha. Just the thought of him brought tears to my eyes. Slowly I tried to come back to terms but no destiny had other plans for me. 

On October 19th 2021, which happens to be my birthday I lost my beloved furry golden retriever , Sparky, the spark of our house. He was the first one I saw passing away in front of my eyes. I had kept my hand on his heart and I could feel his heart beats slowly stopping . This was just an unbearable loss and I'm yet to come out of it.

Well you must be thinking, I have only written my share of grief about the loss of people and a pet and not about other kinds of loss. That's because I feel they are irreplaceable. It's not to say that other losses—a job, a relationship, a cherished object—don't cause pain, but don't you think it can be replaced.

"Looking back, I see that grief has reshaped me, not broken me. It has forced me to confront my own mortality and to appreciate the preciousness of every moment. While the pain remains, so does the resilience I found within myself, a testament to the enduring power of the human spirit.”

  It’s Question Time 

 What does your grief still want to say? Have you given  yourself  permission  to truly feel it—without rushing to 'move on’?

  Write a letter to someone you’ve lost—or to a version of yourself                        from a time of sorrow.
                  

   Let the words flow.
   No edits. No filters. Just truth, tears if they come, and tenderness.
   Sometimes, the act of writing is the balm grief has been waiting for.

Chapter 3 -

The Essence of Love

“Oh God, the last chapter was just overflowing with bottled-up emotions of grief, stirring up a whirlwind of mixed feelings for all of us, myself included.  So, why not turn the page to a brighter chapter, a chapter that warms the heart and lifts the spirit? 

What is more powerful, more enduring, more essential than love? Yes, you got it, it's about Life's Only Valuable Emotion , Love.”

So, what's Love, it is a feeling of strong affection, warmth, and devotion for someone or something. However this definition keeps changing as we grow, for a child love is a feeling of safety, security, and value that comes from care, attention, and affection.

I remember as a child I used to wait for the school to get over, so that my bhaiya would get me finger fries and orange candies. We both used to put them in each of our fingers and swirl around, jumping, and on the way back home collect matchboxes and play the famous gilli danda. 

There are many such things which I love about my childhood, but the most favourite one was during the rainy season in Mumbai, when there was water clogging a holiday would be declared unexpectedly, at that time we both would make paper boats and put it in the water.  

These fun times spent with him still linger with me; I find myself smiling whenever I see kids playing gilli danda in the street and I still get excited when I see those orange candies, the rainy season still brings out the child in me. 

As I grew up ,there were lots of things I loved like singing, painting, cricket, football, hockey and many more. One of the most loved memories I have is in St Joseph's College along with Anu, we used to take an auto , those days the minimum charge was 4/- and both of us would stop the auto once we touched that figure and walk off as we didn't have more than 10/- with us. 

No, wait, you must be thinking I'm such a bore , do these fit in Love, "And yes, I had my share of crushes, heartbreak, and eventually, the joy of finding true love and marriage.

"There was a time I gave my heart too freely, believing every sweet word, every grand gesture. When the illusion shattered, the pain was sharp, but it taught me a valuable lesson: love is not just about giving, but also about knowing your worth, about protecting your heart.” 

Over the period of time, the meaning of love changed , you can find Father's day, mother's day, friendship day, Valentine's day and so many such days now promoted on social media , where one day is dedicated for expressing love.

I don't understand the concept behind this as I feel every moment that you spend with a loved one is memorable, you don't require one day to express your love to somebody but in today's hustle bustle of life where people are too busy running around building careers and lives; 

They feel that they have to assign one day for each occasion to.express their love. 

"While I appreciate the sentiment behind these designated days, my own experiences of love have been more organic and spontaneous.” 

Love, in its many forms, is the thread that binds us all. It evolves, deepens, and transforms us throughout our lives

From the simple joys of childhood to the profound connections of adulthood, love teaches us to give, to receive, and to understand the true meaning of compassion. Ultimately, I have come to understand that unless you love yourself you will not be able to love anyone or anything .

It’s Question Time 

   Have you paused lately to acknowledge the love that surrounds you—the          quiet gestures, the steady presence, the unspoken care?

 Think of a person (past or present) who has loved you unconditionally.
 Write about a moment when you truly felt that love—where were you, what did they do or say, how did it make you feel?
 Now ask yourself—do you give yourself that same kind of love?

Chapter 4: 

The Foundation of Trust

Well, moving on I have come to one of the most beautiful emotions in life , Any guesses ……….. , it is  “ TRUST” - a word that can build empires or shatter hearts. It is the belief that someone or something will do what is expected of them. 

We often hear someone saying Trust your journey and everything will happen or relationships are always built on trust and once broken, it's difficult to rebuild. This is something I have personally experienced in my life. And I am sure many of you  have experienced this as well. It is very true that your trust is always broken by someone who is very close to your heart.

My trust has been broken many times by very close friends and loved ones. Trust me, it's very painful. I've been used and then walked away from, a lesson that some relationships are purely transactional.”. But here I don't want to talk about trust as a negative feeling or emotion, instead I would share a few experiences of my trust journey with Saibaba.

My journey with Sai Baba began long before I even realized it, unfolding in a series of moments that would shape my trust and transform my life in ways I could never have imagined. 

It all started with the simple rituals of my family's devotion. I remember my mother's weekly visits to the small temple in our neighborhood in Mumbai, her reverence for Baba evident in every prayer offered with unwavering trust. If anything would go wrong, she always used to say, Have trust in Baba, everything would be fine. 

As the years passed, Baba's presence became more tangible, weaving its way into the fabric of my life through the stories and experiences of my loved ones. My Madras Nanu had a staunch devotion to Baba. My Nani too showed her trust through simple acts of devotion, 

My Manni trusts Baba so completely that, to this day, she talks to him and shares all her joys and sorrows — a practice I have now embraced myself. "Over time, in this journey of building trust with Baba, my Maasi, Suresh, Anitha, and Leena have each played a significant role."

“Amidst life’s uncertainties, there came a moment that tested my trust in Baba to its very core. Our two-wheeler was stolen, leaving us disheartened and shaken. Yet, in the depths of despair, I turned to Baba, holding on to his comforting words: 

‘Why fear when I am here?’ 

With unwavering faith, I surrendered all worries at his divine feet. Miraculously, within six months, our stolen vehicle was returned to us.

There have been many such instances where I placed my complete trust in Baba, and he never let me down.

One more such experience remains close to my heart. In 2024, my son appeared for the NEET exam. Like many families, we were anxious and uncertain about what the future held for him. But once again, I surrendered our worries to Baba, trusting that he would show us the right path. And he did — my son secured admission into a prestigious institution in Mangalore.

These experiences have only deepened my devotion. I continue to walk this path of faith with an open heart and steadfast trust.

“Trust” — it’s a word that carries so much weight, a word that can both uplift and devastate. But the lessons I’ve learned about trust — both the painful ones and the miraculous ones — have shaped me into the person I am today. They’ve taught me the importance of discernment, the power of forgiveness, and the unwavering strength that comes from placing my trust in something bigger than myself. As I look back on my life, I realize that the journey of trust is not always easy, but it’s always worth it.”

It’s Question Time 

Who in your life do you trust without question—and have you nurtured that trust with presence and honesty?

 Write about a time your trust was broken—or when you broke someone      else’s trust.

 What did it teach you about vulnerability, boundaries, or forgiveness? And now—what does trust look like in your life today?

    Chapter 5 :

                Fear Walks in

When trust breaks, fear quietly takes its place. And fear is something we all carry, though it wears different faces for each of us. Some fear losing the people they love. Others fear things like heights, water, or the unknown. Many fear being left behind or losing their place in the world.

For me, I’ve always feared death.

It sounds strange, doesn’t it? Especially when we all know that death is the only certainty in life. Still, I couldn’t fully come to terms with it. As a child, I used to believe my parents were immortal. They were my safe space, my constants—how could they ever leave? But life teaches you. Over time, I realized that we’re all here for a purpose, and once that’s fulfilled, we must move on.

Rajesh Khanna’s words in *Anand* still echo in my mind:

*"ज़िंदगी और मौत ऊपरवाले के हाथ में है...उसे ना तो आप बदल सकते हैं ना मैं...हम सब तो रंगमंच की कठपुतलियाँ हैं, जिनकी डोर ऊपरवाले की उंगलियों में बंधी है।"*

That one line shifted something inside me. But still somewhere a bit of fear remained which totally vanished when I read the book, “Death” by Sadhguru, where he mentions that death isn't an end but it is only life moving into different dimensions. A life lived totally, with the constant awareness of mortality allows one to die gracefully and walk gently upon the earth. My fear of death dissolved.

But then another fear took its place—one that sits deeper in the soul. “KARMA”, My greatest fear.....

The law of karma is the most profound law governing human life. Every single action we take—whether positive or negative—creates an equal and opposite energy in the universe. It comes back to us sooner or later, whether we’re ready or not, whether we believe in it or not.

Our ancestors understood this deeply. That’s why they always emphasized doing good—feeding the hungry, healing the injured, teaching the poor, protecting the helpless. But sometimes, despite a life lived with kindness, suffering still arrives, leaving us searching for meaning in the face of it.

I never really paid attention to karma until I watched my grandmother in 

her final days. She was one of the kindest souls I knew. A simple woman who lived humbly, yet never hesitated to help others. She never wished harm upon anyone. Her heart was full of love. And yet, in the end, dementia took her memory, her dignity, her independence.

She couldn’t recognize anyone. She became fully dependent on those around her. People said, “She must be repaying the karma of a previous life.” 

It shook me. If someone like her had to suffer, what does karma hold for the rest of us?

But karma isn’t always easy to understand. What feels right to us in a moment may still hurt someone else. We may act with good intent, but still cause unintended consequences. Karma isn’t just about the act—it’s about the impact. None of us can escape karma. But maybe we can soften its impact.

Have you ever seen real tropical lotuses blooming in murky swamps? 

Despite the filth, the lotus rises above it all—radiant, fragrant, untouched.

That’s what we’re encouraged to be:

Live in the world, but rise above it.

Be like the lotus

But in reality? It’s not that easy.

We are human. We hold grudges. We cling to attachments. We compare, we complain, we envy. Instead of being like the lotus in the swamp, we often become the swamp itself.

And when someone close dies, we whisper to ourselves, *“Life is short. Let’s live wisely.”* But the moment we leave the funeral, we forget. We go back to the same patterns, the same distractions.

Maybe the reason we fear karma so much is because, deep down, we know we’re not perfect. We all make mistakes. We act out of ignorance, emotion, ego. Sometimes, we hurt others even when we don’t intend to.

Karma isn’t just about cosmic justice. It’s a quiet reminder that our actions matter.

Every word we speak, every choice we make—it ripples out into the world.

We can’t erase the past. But we can become more conscious of how we live.

Because in the end, karma isn’t meant to scare us. It’s meant to guide us—to help us become better versions of ourselves.

Not perfect. Just better. Like the lotus—rooted in the mud, but reaching for the sun 

 It’s Question Time 

What is your deepest fear—and is it rooted in a truth, a memory, or a wound that still needs healing?

 Close your eyes and name your fear—not to fight it, but to understand it.
 When did it first appear? What triggered it?
 Now, gently ask: What would I do if fear didn’t hold me back?

       Chapter 6: 

               Uninvited Anger

When nothing works out in our favor, it’s natural to feel frustrated—and sometimes, we burst with anger.

But in my case, anger wasn't an occasional visitor. It felt like part of my built-in personality. I didn’t need a big reason to get worked up. Even something as small as my rice and rasam not being piping hot could set me off.

I was short-tempered, unapproachable, and—let’s be honest—irritating to deal with. Looking back, I realize that when you're a perfectionist and things don’t go your way, anger becomes your default reaction. That’s exactly what used to happen to me. If someone didn’t do things my way, it felt like another excuse to lose my temper.

My Amma would often warn me:
 "I don’t know how you’ll manage in your in-laws’ house. Don’t forget—you’re a girl. If you don’t mellow down, it’s going to be tough.”

Like most advice we hear when we’re young, I ignored it. And marriage didn’t magically change me either.

Mine was an intercaste love marriage, and I entered a completely different world, after moving into my new home. I carried my temper with me like emotional baggage—unaware of how heavy it was. 

My new surroundings, my in-laws, the lifestyle—all were different from the world I was raised in.

Thankfully, my Mummyji—my mother-in-law—didn’t let my anger grow unchecked. She never scolded or shamed me. Instead, she gently shared stories from her own life. She guided me without judgment, and slowly, I began to soften. A little.

Of course, I’m not saying my anger disappeared overnight.

At work too, I found it hard to accept things that weren’t right or fair. I was told to meditate, breathe deeply, count backward from ten—classic anger management advice. 

But I always felt: If the cause is right, isn’t it okay to get angry?

Still, I had regrets—words spoken in haste, hurting those I cared about, and then sitting alone with guilt and disappointment. My impulsiveness and impatience only added fuel to the fire.

But one turning point came when I noticed a change in my Appa.

He had always been a man of discipline and intensity, shaped by his years in the defense forces. Everything had to be perfect—waking up, eating, sleeping—if anything was even slightly off schedule, his temper would flare, and silence would follow.

Years later, when I met him again after five years of my marriage, I saw someone else entirely—calmer, quieter, softer.

He smiled and said, “Beta, anger not only spoils your relationships, it ruins your health. The more you accept and let go, the more peaceful life becomes.”

That stuck with me.

And then, another major shift came when I joined Habuild Yoga sessions. The practice helped me look inward. I realized a powerful truth:
 You can’t change anyone.
Everyone acts according to their own choices and values. If they value your words, good. If not, don't waste your peace trying to convince them.

You must be your own priority first.