Coming home used to be a blast! My big brother would run home and laugh. Mom and Dad would greet us with hugs and kisses.

Dad would get stuffed with the Misses. While we prayed for our family to stay strong, we knew it would not be long. We always thought we woul d be filled with blisses.

But, soon we started coming home to arguments and disses. 

We were so confused. Big brother said, "How can they go from being so loving, to so mean and hateful?" I said, "Well big brother, I hope it's not because I didn't do my homework yesterday?", as he scratched his head with confusion. 

Teaching Points:

When parents act negatively or fight, children often internalize this and think it's their fault. To prevent anxiety and depression, parents need to communicate openly and make it clear that the fault lies elsewhere. 

*Note to children: You are not the problem or the reason for your parents' behavior. Adults sometimes need to work on the way they communicate, but this is not to say that there is a happy ending at the end of every story, but you should not feel any guilt or anxiety. On the lines below, have you encountered seeing adults yell or argue and describe how this made you feel in a short sentence. 

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The parents recognized that their communication style might impact their children. This demonstrated a significant effort on the part of the parents to approach their children and communicate effectively by offering apologies and clarifying that the children are not to blame for the disputes or conflicts. When parents prioritize their children, it leads to improved outcomes and may help avert childhood trauma resulting from such behaviors.

*Children: Have you ever felt guilt or anxiety because someone around you was always upset, and you felt that no matter what you did, they were mad?  This is not because of you; this is something that needs to be dealt with in that individual, and they need to work some things out within themselves. If you find that you are ever in need to discuss your personal feelings, always seek either another adult that you trust, a teacher, a counselor, therapist, or even your parents.