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The True Story 

of Hansel and 

Gretel.

Whoosh, the witch flew out of the boiling pot of 

water. Man those darn kids thought they could 

kill me, but I’m a witch. I can do anything. My 

sister, the Wicked Witch of the West, could 

have made herself a pair of darn red, sparkly 

shoes. She didn’t get the brains of the family.

Hi, I didn’t see you standing there. I’m the 

witch from Hansel and Gretel. Don’t be afraid. 

I’m not mean and I won't try to eat you. You 

don’t know the true story. Well I will tell the 

world the true story.

First, I must turn myself into a beautiful young 

girl, because a reporter won't just listen to 

some witch who he thinks tried to kill two 

young innocent kids. He will probably just run 

away screaming. They all do.

 Man, I haven’t had blond hair for years. This 

wig is so coarse. Does this dress make me look 

fat? I’m not the young witch I use to be.

Well time to go find a reporter.

Hi, mister reporter how are you? Ok, Ok 

enough about you. Time for me. I need you to 

write a story for the town paper. It is a true 

story. Stop running away! Stop in the name of 

candy canes everywhere! Don’t make me use 

my licorice rope.

Now that I have tied you up I can tell you the 

story and I can take this itchy wig off. Yes, Yes 

I’m the witch. Stop screaming! I’m not going 

to eat you. That is all a lie. Now I’m going to 

untie your hands and you are going to write 

down exactly what I say. This is the true story 

of Hansel and Gretel. I’m going to go into a lot 

of detail. No changing the words to make me 

look bad!

It was Yesterday, I was putting new frosting on 

my front door. It was old and fractured and  

kept falling off.

When I was done I went in my house and 

called my best friend Cruella De Vil, who was 

in a terrible mood. She had been out hunting 

for some golden lad puppies for a golden scarf 

and she had slipped in some puppy do-do. We 

were having a brilliant conversation about this 

new potion that the Great Villain made. It 

turns kids into pumpkins and then parents will 

carve their own kids.

Then I heard little voices coming closer and 

closer. I told Cruella I had to go and hung up. I 

looked out one of my candy cane framed 

windows and saw a boy and a girl walking by 

my gumdrop walkway. The boy broke a piece 

of the gumdrop off and handed half of it to the 

girl. They devoured it in a most disgusting 

way. I could have thrown up. Well after I 

stopped gagging I looked out the window and 

saw they were walking to my front door.

I quickly ran over to the door. I let them knock 

once and then I opened it. They said they were 

lost and starving. I felt a little sorry, so I let 

them in. They were covered in mud and bread 

crumbs. I put them each in my new chairs that 

are made of candy canes that have a mini cage 

around them to keep them from being eaten 

by mice. I have mouse dilemmas. I lost my 

first house to a pack of hungry mice. Two of 

the mice were friends with Cinderella. I hate 

her, little miss perfect. 

Sorry i’m getting side tracked, now back to 

the story. Where was I? I remember, I had 

just put the kids in my new chairs. The kids 

were screaming and crying. Saying let me out, 

let me out. I was just going to boil a pot of 

water and let them take a bath in the water. I 

don’t have a bath tub. I use to, but it was 

made of hardened sugar powder and water 

and sugar powder don't mix well. I started the 

fire and filled the pot with water.

I went to get a smaller pot to make some soup 

in for them. Just this morning I had gone out 

and picked some fresh carrots from my 

garden. As I started to chop up the carrots I 

looked over by the kids and they were bawling 

their little, blue   eyes out. After I finished the 

carrots I walked over to the boy and I hoisted 

him up out of the chair. I was going to take 

him to my bathroom so he could change out of 

his clothes and let him get in the warm pot of 

water.

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