Lilly Singh

Abigail Moore

Girl, guess what?

Your UTI is finally gone?

Okay, no. I told you, I just like the way cranberry juice tastes.

Nobody likes the way cranberry juice tastes?

I have a date.

Oh my god! Yes, tell me everything!

Okay, so there I was on a walk, you know, enjoying nature, being present and this cutie caught my attention. Girl, it was love at first sight, the old-fashioned way.

You got his number?

No, and then I swiped right. Check out his Tinder profile.

Okay, Dave.

Or a Davis?

Strong name, maybe a David?

Who the hell's name is Davenport?

Or Davenport?

It sounds like a capital city.

Whatever his name is, he is fine as hell.

I know, right? I need to go moisturize.

No, no, no, wait! We need more info about him. I don't want you getting kidnapped.

Kidnapped? Girl, if he can lift me, I consider that a plus.

Girl, you thirsty. Let's at least look at his bio so we could etch it on your gravestone.

First of all, that's racist. Okay, because you know we get cremated.

It looks like he's 6'1".

Imma climb that tree.

You can barely climb the stairs.

That's rude.

Under his job, it just says business.

Wait, that's it?

Google him.

Okay, page 38, I think I found him. David Klein. He has two sister.

Basically a feminist.

October birthday, which means Libra.

With a Scorpio Rising, so he's probably a little feisty.

His favourite show is Game of Thrones.

It's meant to be. I'm the Khaleesi to his Jon Snow.

Isn't she his aunt?

I said what I said.

Ok, his mom just found out she's gluten'-free. So, he became gluten-free.

Oh my god, that is so sweet.

N-No! Wait, wait, wait, I found a flaw.

I'm about to shave with a NEW razor blade. He deserves it.

Apparently in grade 4, he bit some kid on the playground. He publicly apologized on Facebook.

Oh, wait, wait, so what you're saying is he's a 6-1 businessman who loves his mom and has a tendency to bite?

Yes.

It's a special occasion.

You haven't changed that razor in, like, 7 months.

Oh my god, same, yeah, totally same page, yeah. I also know nothing about you.

So, I know nothing about you.

Well, my name is Lilly. First of her name, mother of unicorns, breaker of bread...

So, tell me about yourself.