To my fantastic mom, without her these books wouldn't be possible.

Meet Prince Vegetable-pants

There once was a little boy. He was a prince. He was called Prince Vegetable-pants, and his real name was Prince Edward Ferdinand Antonio Thomas Henry Richard Marcel Buckingham the 26th, the prince of England. But since he always wore pants that looked like vegetables, he was called Prince Vegetable-pants. Even though Prince Vegetable-pants doesn't try to make trouble, it just seems to follow him everywhere.

Prince Vegetable-pants Changes the Lightbulbs

    One day Prince Vegetable-pants asked his father, the king, "Father, may I please change the light bulbs on the fans?" 

    "Yes, you may," said the king, "but be careful."  

    So Prince Vegetable-pants got a ladder and some new light bulbs and went to the party room.

    There were several fans in the party room.  Prince Vegetable-pants started with the fan closest to him.

    Under the fan, his grandmother was having a tea party with other important ladies.  In the middle of the tea table, there was a mountain of tarts: cream tarts and berry tarts, chocolate tarts and lime tarts.  Prince Vegetable-pants thought the tarts looked delicious, and he licked his lips.

    He quickly forgot all about the tarts as he set up the ladder.  He could not put the ladder right next to the fan because of the tea party, so he put it as close to the fan as he could without disturbing the tea party.  But the ladder was not close enough for Prince Vegetable-pants to be able to reach the light bulbs on the fan.

    Prince Vegetable-pants thought he could jump from the ladder, grab onto the fan, and change the light bulbs while hanging onto the fan with one hand, like a monkey.  Prince Vegetable-pants climbed the ladder and balanced on the top step.  Then he jumped!  But he didn't jump far enough! 

    He missed the fan and fell down toward the tea party.  Splat!  Prince Vegetable-pants fell on the mountain of tarts.  Prince Vegetable-pants had wanted to eat the tarts, but this was not the way he had wanted to eat them.  He quickly scrambled off the squashed tarts, avoiding the horrified faces of his grandmother and the other ladies.  He ran over to the ladder and the light bulbs, grabbed them, and took off for the living room.  

    In the living room, he set up the ladder and climbed up to another fan.  He had to jump to the fan, because he was too short to reach it.  

    He jumped up and caught the fan's blades.  Unfortunately, just as Prince Vegetable-pants jumped up to catch the fan, his foot hit the switch that controlled the fan.  The switch flipped on.  As Prince Vegetable-pants was trying to get the new light bulbs out of the package, the fan started to turn.  Prince Vegetable-pants was surprised and scared.  The fan turned around and around and around, faster and faster and faster.  It went so fast that Prince Vegetable-pant's legs flew straight behind him.  Soon Prince Vegetable-pants couldn't hold on any longer.  He let go!  

    Prince Vegetable-pants sailed through the air with the package of light bulbs close behind.  Whoosh!  Prince Vegetable-pants flew through an open window and sailed over the garden toward the duck pond!  As he was flying, he saw his mother and father sitting by the duck pond in folding chairs. Wham! 

    Prince Vegetable-pants collided full force with the statue in the middle of the pond!  He tried desperately to hang on.  Below him, his parents sat looking stunned, and the ducks were in an uproar.  He hung there, clinging to his only hope of staying dry. 

    But, alas, all was for naught.  Prince Vegetable-pants slipped.  His hope vanished.  Prince Vegetable-pants fell into the pond.  Quickly he stood up in the pond, and since it was only about two feet deep, he didn't have to swim. He splashed toward the shore as fast as he could.  After he stepped out of the pond, he took off toward the living room running as fast as he could. Prince Vegetable-pants wanted to get to the palace so he could dry off.

    After he had dried off and retrieved  the ladder and the packages of new light bulbs, he went to the parlor to change the light bulbs.  He set the ladder up next to yet another fan and climbed up.  He could reach this fan because it was lower than the others.  When Prince Vegetable-pants reached the top step, he started to pull down on the light bulbs instead of turn them because he thought he was supposed to pull them to take them out.  The light bulbs wouldn't budge, so Prince Vegetable-pants pulled harder, and harder, and harder.  Suddenly, crash!  The fan fell out of the ceiling, knocked down the ladder, and took Prince Vegetable-pants with it in its treacherous, dangerous descent!  The fan fell to the ground with a huge thud!  Prince Vegetable-pants stood up, unharmed.  

    He looked up at the hole in the ceiling, then down at the fan, then up again, and then down again.  

    Suddenly, Prince Vegetable-pants had an idea.  He ran to his room.  A few minutes later, he returned with his arms full of duct tape, socks, and paper.  He set the ladder up again and climbed up carrying the fan along with the duct tape, socks, and paper.  Prince Vegetable-pants used them to attach the fan back onto the ceiling.  After he finished, the fan looked very lumpy, but Prince Vegetable-pants thought it would hold.  He turned it on.  It worked.  Prince Vegetable-pants wandered off and found something else to do.  Soon he forgot all about the fan.  

   The next week the royal family from Scotland came to visit.  Prince

Vegetable-pants’ parents wanted to make a good impression, so they took their royal guests to the parlor, the fanciest room in the castle, since it had  the most elegant furniture and the most exquisite gold and jewels in all of  England.

    "My, my, what a nice parlor you have," boomed the King of Scotland.

    "Yes, yes," trilled the Queen of Scotland.  "Lorelei," she said to Prince Vegetable-pants’ mother, "where did you get this marvelous lamp?"  

    Queen Lorelei's reply could not be heard because the King of Scotland interrupted her. 

    "I say," he declared, "I smell something stinky.  I shall call Scotland Yard at once!"  

    It was true.  Something did stink, a lot.  Everyone looked around.  Then, all at the same time, they looked up.  Above them, the fan was decked out 

in duct tape, paper and stinky socks.  There were gaping holes around the fan, and duct tape, socks, paper and pieces of plaster were dangling from the holes. 

    The rest of the royal visit did not go well.  After the royal family from Scotland left, Prince Vegetable-pants learned his lesson: you should always tell your parents when you break something and that it's much more worthwhile when you do.

The End

Prince Vegetable-pants Cooks Thanksgiving Dinner

    One Thursday in November, Prince Vegetable-pants came to his father with a very important matter.  

    "Father," said Prince Vegetable-pants, "may I please cook Thanksgiving dinner just this once, a small dinner for you and Mother?" 

   Prince Vegetable-pants’ father thought about it for a moment.  Then he said, "All right, son, you can cook Thanksgiving dinner, but remember, if you need help the royal chefs can help you." 

    So Prince Vegetable-pants thanked his father and went to the royal kitchen.  When he got to the kitchen, he washed his hands and donned a starched white apron and chef’s hat.  Once he finished tying the apron

strings with some difficulty, he went to the shelves loaded down with cookbooks.  He browsed the books for a few minutes and selected a few. He plopped down at a small table to learn about how to cook a proper Thanksgiving dinner. 

    After he had read for an hour or two, he had a pretty good idea of what to do.  First, he set the cookbooks on the counter.  Then, he gathered all the utensils and all the ingredients the recipes he had chosen required.  

    Once he had everything lined up, he opened up a cookbook to a recipe of cranberry sauce, grabbed a bag of frozen cranberries, and went to work. For the next hour, Prince Vegetable-pants hovered next to the stove.  Every once in a while, Prince Vegetable-pants would taste the sauce.  Sometimes,

he would add a pinch of this or a teaspoon of that. After a while, the sauce started to smell, but not in a good way.  When the sauce was done, it smelled even worse and it looked and tasted even worse than it smelled.  Some of the cranberries were burnt, and some of the cranberries were tinged yellow because Prince Vegetable-pants had cooked them in lemon juice.  At least they are still edible, thought Prince Vegetable-pants, trying to be positive, even though he was pretty sure that his parents did not like lemony cranberries.