Hi! My name is Lili Thomas and this is the story of how I met my best friend Joy, and how our friendship grew to be. Now, before I begin, there’s something you should probably know about Joy. She has something called Asperger’s Syndrome, which is part of the Autism Spectrum. I didn’t know much about autism, and had never heard of Asperger’s, when I met Joy.

All I knew about autism, also known as Autism Spectrum Disorder, was from what I had seen on T.V. shows. Even then, I only knew because my mom pointed it out and told me that Grammy’s twin brother had the same thing. She said that she didn’t know much about it but her grandma used to get embarrassed in stores because he would sometimes have meltdowns when he got overwhelmed. Mama said he had hyper-sensitivities, but I didn’t know what being sensitive had to do with loud noises. Two years later, I know what autism and Asperger’s look like in real life and not just on a television screen. I hope that through telling Joy’s and my story, that you learn more about them too.

Joy and I met when our third grade classes did pen pals! Miss Miller had to explain to us that pen pals, wasn’t switching pens or pencils with your friends, and that it wasn’t when you and your friends had matching pens either. Finally, Josh B. asked what they were then.

“Pen pals,” Miss Miller said, “are when you write letters back and forth with someone that doesn’t live near you. Our pen pals are from Arizona. Who can look at this map of our country and point out where we are? Cybill?” 

“We’re right here, Miss Miller. North Carolina!” 

“Yes, exactly! Now, who can tell me where Arizona is? Mitchell?”

“I know that Arizona is by California, but I’m not sure exactly where.”

“That’s alright! Arizona is right here.” said Miss Miller as she pointed at the state next to New Mexico and under Utah. Miss Miller went on to tell us that in our first letter to our partner, we should introduce ourselves and ask questions about them. All we’d know before sending the letter is their name, and that’s all they would know before opening our letter. We had to include three things in our first letter: our name, our favorite subject, and what our favorite thing was. 

“Hi!! My name is Lili Thomas and I live in Charlotte, North Carolina. My mom and I used to live in Michigan, but she got a new job here so we had to move. My dad died when I was 3, so I don’t remember much about him, but my mom talks about him all the time...she says it’s so I never forget him, but I know she still misses him and likes talking about him. What is your family like? Do you have siblings? Any pets? I wanted to get a puppy, but my mom said that our apartment doesn’t allow dogs...

...My favorite part about school is art. In art, there isn’t a right or wrong answer, it’s just art. Do you have a favorite subject? My favorite thing in the whole world is the week I spend at my Nana’s house every summer. During the year, we can’t visit them because they live in California, but that’s what makes it so special! What’s your favorite thing? Well I guess that’s all. I’ve never had a pen pal before so I’m really excited to get a letter back!"

Miss Miller took our letters to the post office that day but said we won’t hear back from them until next month. By the time we got letters from our pen pals, I had forgotten all about them!! We had 15 minutes to read our letters and think about what they wrote back to us.

“Lili! It’s so exciting to hear from you. I’ve never had a pen pal either! I don’t have a favorite subject at school. I don’t really like school much. People at my school aren’t very nice so I don’t have many friends, or really any friends. My favorite thing in the whole world is world records. Every year for Christmas and my birthday, I get a Guinness Book of World Records! My parents spend the rest of the day looking through them with me. There’s even more on the internet!!...

...My parents are my best friends in the whole world. Sometimes, I wish I had a little brother or sister to play with but my parents say that it’s not in the cards for them. I don’t know what that means but Mommy just says that every time I ask. I do have a pet bunny though!! His name is Roger, and he’s mostly white with a black spot around his eye, two black feet, and a couple spots on his back. I’d like to hear more about what your dad was like. Are kids at your school nice?”

I wrote Joy back and I asked her why people at her school weren’t nice. I also told her about my dad. He died in a car accident, and I don’t really know what happened, just that the police told Mama it wasn’t his fault. I told her kids at my school were nice, but not really when I first moved here. Before I met people they made up stories about why I had to move schools, told people I was weird, and smelled funny. After they met me and got to know me, that stopped.