The River Of Denial

She thought she could hold it all together. Denial is a strange thing—it doesn’t hit you all at once. It’s like a river that moves slowly, quietly, at first, until you’re swept away by its current and only realize you’ve been drowning long after it’s too late. This is the story of how Lunar let the river carry her, and how she lost herself to it without ever seeing the waves coming.

Chapter 1: The Calm Before

Lunar always thought she had control over her life. The kind of control people speak of when everything is crumbling, but they’re still pretending. It was easy at first—denial felt like a quiet companion. She’d spent years hiding from the things that hurt, telling herself if she just kept moving, kept quiet, she’d be okay.

But she wasn’t okay.

It started with her mother—or maybe it started long before that. It's hard to pinpoint when denial truly began, whether it was the first lie she told herself or when she first started believing it.

Lunar’s mother had died when she was twelve, but Lunar

still couldn’t face it. Instead, she told herself that her mom was just far away, on a long trip. That one day, she’d return, and everything would be the way it was. When people asked where her mother was, Lunar would smile and say, “She’s just traveling, you know, on an adventure.” It was easier than explaining the gaping hole her absence left behind.

But even in the quiet of the house, when it was just her and the silence, denial was there, waiting like a river flowing gently, unnoticed at first, until it was the only thing she could feel.

Chapter 2: The River Moves

High school wasn’t much different. Lunar thought she could escape the ache by throwing herself into her studies, her friends, anything that could keep her from having to face the truth. She tried to blend in, to act normal, but everything felt like a mask that was slowly suffocating her.

Her best friend, Aria, noticed.

“Lunar, you’ve been off lately. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Lunar replied, offering a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. She was used to lying.

But Aria wasn’t fooled. She always saw through Lunar’s shields. “You’re not, though. You can’t keep pretending.”

Lunar’s throat tightened. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to open up—she just didn’t know how to face the truth. “I’m fine, really.”

But Aria didn’t believe her. She could see the cracks in Lunar’s façade, and that was something Lunar didn’t want anyone to see. It was easier to pretend, easier to tell herself the river of denial was carrying her safely, even if it was slowly pulling her under.

Chapter 3: The current Picks Up

Denial didn’t just stay as a quiet whisper—it began to invade every part of her life. She couldn’t talk about the past without drowning in it. She didn’t want to face how much she missed her mother, how much the world felt empty without her. She didn’t want to acknowledge how lost she felt, alone in a house full of memories that refused to let her go. So, she retreated further inside her head.

Then, one day, the letter came.

It was from her father. Lunar hadn’t heard from him in years. The letter was thick, heavy with words she wasn’t sure she was ready to read.

“Lunar,” it began, “I’m sorry. I’ve been distant for so long. I thought I could fix things, but it’s been too long, and now the river has carried me too far. I need you to know… your mother never went on a trip. She passed away that night, and I couldn’t bear to tell you. I thought you were too young to understand. But I was wrong. I’m so sorry.”

The words blurred on the page as Lunar’s breath caught in her chest. The river of denial that had been her constant companion for so long was suddenly crashing over her. She’d spent all these years convincing herself that the truth didn’t matter, that it wasn’t real. But now it was. Now, the river was dragging her, and there was no way to stop it.

Chapter 4: The Flood

It was as though the world had shifted beneath her feet. The weight of the truth was too much to bear, too heavy, and Lunar found herself standing at the edge of everything she had built her life around—denial. Her mind was drowning, caught in the current of all the things she had ignored for so long.

It was too late to turn back. She had spent so many years running, so many years pretending, that when the truth finally crashed into her, there was nothing left to hold on to.

And that’s when she realized: denial wasn’t just a defense. It had become her reality, her river, and now it was sweeping her away.

Author's note.

Don’t drown in your river of denial, stop saying you’re fine when you’re not. If you need help, ask for it. You can't handle the world on your own, no one can. I love you, from the moon and back. Whether I know you, or not. I’m here for you. I understand how telling others your problems can make them worse most of the time, but it’s worth it. Sometimes it helps, and… you just gotta live  through everything, forget the past. Let it go like a gust of wind blew it away and you never saw it again. Remember everything good, heck- cry about it if you must. Crying is good, I know most of this little “Author’s

note” may not make sense, but make it make sense, In your own way.

Sincerely

Aria Faye Perez